MY TURN By Gerardo Marcano

What’s in a piece of paper? Everything We all know how the story goes. A boy starts to go through certain hormonal changes, he sees a girl, or several girls; dates; falls in love with “The One.” They get married live happily ever after with their 2 to 3.5 kids, and this ends our story. That is certainly how I was taught in my conservative upbringing. In reality, the part where I started to be attracted to “sugar, and spice, and everything nice” never did happen. This boy from Newburgh realized that instead he was more interested in “snips, snails, and puppy dog tails.” After several years of putting myself through mental and emotional anguish, I realized that I had better learn to love and accept myself for that part of me that could not be changed. I learned to live, and experience love on my own terms with all of it’s jubilation and the heartbreak. So when I fell in love and found “The One,” the ideal of youth seemed to be a reality. I shared my hopes and dreams, cried, laughed, and worked diligently to create a home. So what if I could not get married legally? What is a piece of paper anyway? I knew what I had, and the measure of its worth. The importance of the legal institution of marriage hit me like a ton of bricks, when I found myself a young man who lost his partner in a tragic manner. I had no legal claim to anything we had built. I walked away with the wealth of cherished memories. I was now a widower with no claim to that title. It was not just, and it was not okay, but I persevered. There are many who were not as fortunate to pick up the pieces. On June 24, 2011, marriage opened up for the inclusion of our fellow New Yorkers who just happen to be of homosexual orientation. I think of the brave partner of a victim of the Sept. 11 tragedy who will not be granted any restitution. My mind wanders to the child who was raised by two loving mothers who can now, years later, attend their legal wedding. My thoughts linger to the 60-year-old man who was forced out of his home when his partner passed on. His partner’s relatives battled the will and laid claim to what was rightfully his. I can’t help but think of the officer who was survived by her partner of 20-plus years after being gunned down in the line of duty. She was not granted pension benefits for the woman she was devoted to. I contemplate the young teen who jumped off a bridge because she could not see a bright light at the end of the tunnel. These changes are only in effect at the state level. I feel much needs to be done on a federal level to grant equal protection under the law. Yet today I can now visualize the next young man or woman who might one day realize that he or she is gay. He or she can now reflect upon the values taught to them in their youth. A young man or woman in New York can now think to themselves without hesitation: “One day, I am getting married.”